You're a card which will have to be dealt with.
Do not believe in miracles -- rely on them.
Mind you, the Elizabethans had so many words for the female genitals that
it is quite hard to speak a sentence of modern English without
inadvertently mentioning at least three of them.
(alt.fan.pratchett)

You want the truth? You want the truth? You can't handle the truth!
'Cause when you reach over and put your hand into a pile of goo that
used to be your best friend's face, you'll know what to do!

-- Homer Simpson
Secrets of a Successful Marriage
I can understand how they wouldn't let in those wild jungle apes, but what
about those really smart ones who live among us who rollerskate and smoke
cigars?

-- Homer Simpson, on Heaven
The Telltale Head